Book Review: The Let Them Theory
Book Name: The Let Them Theory
Author: Mel Robbins
Pages: 326
Type: Non-Fiction
Genre: Self-Help
Stars: 5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Read on: Kindle - Owned
#1 Bestseller on amazon, New York times and Sunday times. This book is life - changing and so many people are talking about it. Only recently published Dec 2024, it has already made an impact on so many peoples lives. Having read the majority of Mel Robbins books, this by far is my favourite and have taken so many tools and lessons from this book that I can use in my life. Mel writes in a very relatable way sharing with you her experiences and how she incorporates the let them theory into her life and shares how you can do this too. Like a friend giving you advice she writes in a way that you can understand, relate too, there are some hard truths but so many life lessons, Thank you Mel!
Key points that I took away from this book
That there is more to the theory than just letting other people have their opinions, it is about not giving power over to others and taking control of your own life. There are 2 parts to this theory “let them” and “let me” which is important as it allows you to take control of your own life. The reality is that no matter how hard you try you cannot control others and yet we try so hard to do this and wonder why it causes us so much stress in our life as we think we can change others. Really the key point is taking responsibility for our own actions and focusing on what we can control and how we react in situations. The only person we can change is ourselves, so focus on you.
Other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them. I think sometimes we give so much power over to others and blame them for all manner of things. But what we don’t realise is that we are giving power over to those people and allowing them to make us feel that way. This has helped me so much in my daily life as I felt that I gave power to others and allowed them to make me feel sad, angry, upset. But what I realised is that I cannot control their thoughts, or how they react or what they say. I have to let them have those thoughts about me and I have to let them react. This has allowed me to take power over my own emotions by saying let me and taking control of my own emotions and life, I know what is true and I can take back the power.
One way I implemented this theory into my life, has been at work. Part of my job is answering the phones at work and the day before the network had been dropping in and out. This meant that I could not hear what other people were saying over the phone and vice versa, we had to repeat ourselves and the phone calls took longer and other people were getting frustrated with me. I stressed out and this part of my job really affected me and I felt like I could not do much. They next day the network was the same and instead of letting it have power over me and letting me feel stressed I said let them. Let the network drop in and out, let the IT department figure it out, I cannot control these things so let them be as they are. Then I said let me take control of what I can. I noticed that some of the phones that had a fixed line were not experiencing the same problem and were working just fine. I knew we had one of these phones in another office and know that it does not get used that much. I moved the phone over to my desk so that when I received phone calls, I could hear people better, I could make phone calls and get on with my job. And if I experienced problems with the phones, I said let me transfer you and transferred over to the phone that was working. This felt liberating, that I was able to take control of my part in this and not allowing it to make me feel stressed anymore. I had a much better day and the next day the network has been fixed and the phones were working much better, so I could move the other phone back to its original place. It allowed me to see how much power I was giving over to something that I could not control and it made me focus on taking responsibility for my own actions and emotions and I felt like I had taken my power back. Seeing it in action changed my life as I could now see how it made me feel and the fact that I can take control of my life and I can implement this into other areas of my life.
Top 3 life lessons gained:
Mostly about emotions, my own and others, but have allowed me to let go of what I cannot control and start focusing on what I can control, its liberating!
This book has taught me how to manage my emotions in a healthy way. Mel teaches us to let them with emotions. Let the emotions rise up rather then suppress them. Let the emotion just be, to not distract myself with my phone like I usually do. Emotions are like a wave they will rise up, but they will also fall and this all happens in 90 seconds which is such a short amount of time. Rather than act on you emotions, just let them be and let them fall away and let me take control and not suppress them. This is honestly helping me regulate and manage my emotions and knowing that its OK to let them be and that it is only temporary and I will get through it.
That most adults are just 8 year old children inside big bodies. The majority of us have grown up internalising and suppressing our emotions. We always try to fix other people to tell them not to cry, that its going to be OK, or not to be sad. That when we experience disappointment because we cannot have what we want, or sadness over a loss that these are healthy responses to life experiences. I almost felt cross with myself when I allowed myself to feel these way about things. So this allowed me to see that this was a normal response and shows that I am experiencing my emotions in a healthy way.
That life is not fair. Mel shows us the truth, life is not fair. Every person is dealt with a different set of cards, and someone will always have better cards than you. That is just the truth, so you have to play the game with the cards you are dealt with. Comparing yourself to other people is unavoidable, you’re always going to do it. You are going to look at others and see how you measure up. The problem is not comparison, it is what you do with that comparison that matters. If there is not anything you can do to change things within the next 30 seconds, then you’re never going to be able to change these things. Comparison shows you the areas of your life that need attention. So start taking control of your life, start to control how you respond to others and take responsibility and do what you can, take back your power!
Recommend this book: Yes!